Monday, February 22, 2010

Renee is Circling my Head

I'm in a very strange place today. Do you know how it is when you follow blog links and people who leave comments and their links and groups they belong to, etc? It can be such a grand adventure!

On Saturday afternoon it was very rainy and I sat looking out my window and I worked on my website. Every now and then I would go to my open blog window and visit a new site. You see, I had just returned to blogging after many months of the blahs.

Somehow I landed at Renee's blog, Circling my Head. The first post that I read was from her daughter because Renee is now passing over to the next life as a result of Inflammatory Breast Cancer. I saw a picture of Renee and her precious little grandaughter walking, and my heart was torn apart.

I read Renee's words for hours, old blogs, blogs by topics, went back to the beginning blog. I read again yesterday for some time. Renee has touched my life and I have never even exchanged words with her. She brought to light things that I have thought of but didn't want to talk about, not even to myself. Deep fears, when not faced, can be a demon that poisons your every glance at the landscape. This is so with me.

Renee addressed all of those demons. And people didn't run away! She is an honest, gutsy, and loving woman who I admire, although I don't know her. But I do. She is part of me. And she cusses, besides! I like that ;-)

I generally shy away from cancer topics on my blog because I figure that no one wants to read about them. My own journey through breast cancer 3 years ago till now has left me reeling. I honor Renee today and want to say that it was her words that led me through a place of pain over the last couple of days to some real healing and self-care. I cannot really describe what has happened...I may be able to create something eventually that expresses it. This thing is beyond words.

To be so loved and to love as much as Renee does, that is my wish in life. Be free, sweet angel, Renee. Know that I love you, too.


  1. I ended up there, too, from a friend's blog, and was amazed to fall into other blogs to see how many lives she touches. Sounds like such an amazing person that is an amazing angel.

  2. "I cannot really describe what has happened...I may be able to create something eventually that expresses it. This thing is beyond words."

    Renee would love this Lisa. You may not have exchanged comments, but she has definitely spoken to you - and you to her.

    I'm so sorry that you are also dealing with this
    horrible disease. As Renee would say, "F*CK Cancer!"


  3. Wow! Thank you for sharing your situation and introducing me to Renee. I lost my Dad and Grandmother to cancer and believe I have been ignoring the impact of that... Thank you for helping me get in touch with waht is real. Best wishes for your own Journey!

  4. Renee is an incredibly special woman and we've been exchanging little comments for the last few months. What a testament to who she is that she is still touching people's lives with her words and spirit even as she's quickly dying. I'm already missing her so much. I lost my dad to cancer when he was renee's age and, as renee herself would say, it's just a giant f*cking shame.

    thanks for coming by today... :) gotta go pop some dollheads back on.

  5. hello lisa, it pleases me to no end that you have gotten to know our beloved renee.

    thank you for your comment on my blog. i can assure you what you already know: every moment you spend reading her words will make you braver and maybe even teach you to say f--k as a prayer!

    i wish you could have had the pleasure of her comments back and forth.

    feel free to stop by my place anytime.


  6. Hi Lisa, thanks for stopping by my blog. I think everyone who has been to Renee's blog was touched in some way. She is my first friend when I started blogging. I went through my posts and read the comments she left there and I sure do miss her. We al will miss her.
    I appreciate you stopping by my blog and wish you well in your healing process. I love that painting and you know...Renee is circling my head as well. Take care. Nice to meet you.

  7. Hi Lisa...Your words are so sweet and so touching. I "met" Renee a few times myself, and she's been in my thoughts and prayers. It's all very heartbreaking.

    On a much lighter note, I wanted to thank you for stopping by my blog, I'm so happy you did, and we got to meet!

    You have a beautiful blog, and I'll enjoy visiting again!

    Hugs, Paulette

  8. Hi Lisa! Beautiful post. It is truly a blessing to have stumbled upon Renee's blog over a year ago now. I've been inspired alot in following her journey through her struggles. I lost my mom to cancer and I watching her strength and courage through it all reminds me of Renee. Thank you for sharing your story! Blessings to you!

  9. Oh Lisa ... Reading your blog post has got me crying all over again... I didn't know that you too were a breast cancer survivor... OMG my heart goes out to you...

    What craziness this is.. Renee has been my very best friend for over a year... I could also read her "older" blog post over and over again...

    Are you part of the traveling gypsy caravan I started for Renee? ?

    My prayers are with you too.

  10. Lisa, thanks for stopping by my blog & what a lovely tribute to Renee thank you for sharing.

  11. Lisa, I just found your blog. My daughter has cancer. Multiple Myeloma. She cannot be operated on. It cannot be removed by surgery. We spent 4 very long, agonizing months last year in Richmond at MCV, having a stem cell transplant. Kelli is doing fabulous now. There is so much hope now..know this..every day and every hour progress is being made. Know that you are loved.

    Cheryl Dolby

  12. Funny how we are all touched. My husband has Multiple Myeloma and we are thru treatment now. I started a blog several months ago to recount our journey from my perspective and I had found Renee's blog and became a "follower", but I had not gone to it for months, until today and I was... well... there just aren't words. I know you all understand.

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