I'm in a very strange place today. Do you know how it is when you follow blog links and people who leave comments and their links and groups they belong to, etc? It can be such a grand adventure!
On Saturday afternoon it was very rainy and I sat looking out my window and I worked on my website. Every now and then I would go to my open blog window and visit a new site. You see, I had just returned to blogging after many months of the blahs.
Somehow I landed at Renee's blog, Circling my Head. The first post that I read was from her daughter because Renee is now passing over to the next life as a result of Inflammatory Breast Cancer. I saw a picture of Renee and her precious little grandaughter walking, and my heart was torn apart.
I read Renee's words for hours, old blogs, blogs by topics, went back to the beginning blog. I read again yesterday for some time. Renee has touched my life and I have never even exchanged words with her. She brought to light things that I have thought of but didn't want to talk about, not even to myself. Deep fears, when not faced, can be a demon that poisons your every glance at the landscape. This is so with me.
Renee addressed all of those demons. And people didn't run away! She is an honest, gutsy, and loving woman who I admire, although I don't know her. But I do. She is part of me. And she cusses, besides! I like that ;-)
I generally shy away from cancer topics on my blog because I figure that no one wants to read about them. My own journey through breast cancer 3 years ago till now has left me reeling. I honor Renee today and want to say that it was her words that led me through a place of pain over the last couple of days to some real healing and self-care. I cannot really describe what has happened...I may be able to create something eventually that expresses it. This thing is beyond words.
To be so loved and to love as much as Renee does, that is my wish in life. Be free, sweet angel, Renee. Know that I love you, too.